A very SHORT story and a very TALL tale
by hopping-bunny
Summary: Kaiba needs an heir to kaiba corp. after Mokuba leaves. He adopts a kids which just happens to be Yami's reincarnation.NO PAIRINGS!
1. adopting

_Chapter 1_

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_by: svakee2000 and meangirl01_

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Seto Kaiba was amidst his office and working on his new program for his new duel disk. All lights were off and the only light there was coming from the computer. Other than the clitter clatter of the key board, silence filled the room. At least until..

"Seto! Come on! Today I'm leaving to the U.S.! Get out here!" Mokuba yelled.

"You don't have to yell Mokuba. I can hear you perfectly well." Kaiba sighed. He got off his chair and walked out the door.

"I invited a couple of our friends from duelist kingdom, battle city, the oracle curse people, and KC Grand Prix kay?" Mokuba said as he slid down the railing.

"A couple of people? Like who..?" Kaiba mumbled as he walked down the stairs. When he reached the first floor, he saw Yugi, Tea, Joey, Tristan, Mr. Motou, Pegasus, Mai, Serenity, Weevil, Rex, Varon, Raphael, Allistor, Vivian, Leon, Siegfred, Marik, Ishizu, Shadi, Bandit Keith, Ryou, Bonez, Mako, Panic, Paradox twins, Duke, Rebecca, Professor Hopkins, Odion, Miho, Noa's hologram, Fortune Simon, Ethan Johnson, Paul Mcgregor, Abe, Richard Goat, Barry Ginger, The master of Illusion, Ethan shark, Jafaar Hashin, Roland, Mrs. Motou, Ms. Kawaii, Jonny Steps, Esper Roba, Pandora Yokosos, Kenta, Sakaitos, Croket, Tristan's brother and finally Mokuba.(or, every character ever mentioned or who showed up in yugioh in anime not including forbidden memory and **some** of the bad guys. If I missed someone that I didn't intend to miss, then oh well.)

"Mokuba! You said a FEW people. I guess that includes rivals? " Kaiba roared.

"Yeah, a FEW people. My college friends should be arriving soon too." Mokuba cooly replied, oblivious of all the glares his brother was giving him.

"Everyone, **_OUT_**! Kaiba yelled in his loudest voice into the microphone laying on a nearby table and all in the while, breaking all the glass there.

"You know, Mr. Kaiba, yelling isn't good for you." Dr. Richard Goat told him.(from KC grand prix)

"I don't care." Kaiba glared at him and he scampered away.

"Yo, chill out" Bandit Keith lowered his glasses and looked at Kaiba.

"Aww..come on..please?" Mokuba pleaded.

"No Mokuba. And stop acting like a kid. It's not right for someone as old as you, acting like--" Kaiba was cut off as Joey interrupted.

"C'mon Kaiba. Cut the kid some slack. He's leaving Japan and going to start his own new life. He deserves a farewell party to keep his spirits up." Joey argued.

"Kaiba come on! He's your ONLY flesh and blood. YOUR little brother, your ONLY sibling. Shouldn't you at least do THIS for him?" Tea chimed in, backing up Joey.

"Yeah man. Didn't you invite all your friends on your farewell party? Wait a minute, you didn't have a farewell party...Never mind..." Tristan idiotically said.

"Kaiba, be friendly. Friendship is more important than power.." Yugi plainly stated with a cheerful smile.

"Come on Kaiba. A guy's gotta party whenever he has the chance. How else do you think the lady's get your attention? Working? I don't think so." Duke said while flipping his ponytail and making his usual pose.

Well, I've got to agree with the others." Ryou lastly said with a nod.

"Well Wheeler, Gardner, Taylor, Yugi, Devlin and Bakura, I DON'T NEED YOUR ADVICE. NOW GET OUT and this has nothing to do with power Yugi." Kaiba yelled..AGAIN.

"Can THEY at least stay?" Mokuba pointed to the gang.

"No." Kaiba clearly stated.

"Fine.." Mokuba made a low voice. He walked towards his room to get his luggage.

"Look what you did NOW" Tea scolded.

"Alright. The geek gang can stay, but only for a short while." Kaiba blew at his hair, waiting for Mokuba's excited voice to be heard.

"Really?" Mokuba chirped as he turned his head around.

"Yes, really. Call me down when their gone." Kaiba rudely replied and went back to his office.

"How rude!" Tea yelled at him.

Kaiba rolled his eyes and continued walking up the stairs.

"Seto! What're you doing? I already called for you– WOW.." Mokuba stared at his brother. Kaiba was wearing no trench coat and was clad in a black shirt arm belts, and leather pants.(totally hot)

"Nice clothes bro." Mokuba winked at him and turned towards to pick up his luggage.

"Hey Seto, could you carry that last bag for me? I'm kinda full here." Mokuba said while walking out towards the car.

"Sure Mokuba." He picked up the bag and walked out.(the next part has a point later on in the story.)

"Hey, what do you have in here anyways?" Kaiba asked.

"Why're you asking?" Mokuba replied.

" That's because I'm curious." He looked at Mokuba suspiciously.

"Well, some of my clothes, and stuff." Mokuba looked at him innocently.

"How do I know that your not lying?" Kaiba narrowed his eyes.

"You don't trust me?" Mokuba made his eyes droop.

"You know, just forget that I ever asked." Kaiba raised his arms, a sign of forfeit.

"Bye Seto! I'll miss you!" Mokuba shouted over the crowd even though he was right beside his brother.

"I'll miss you too, kiddo." Kaiba ruffled his hair one last time and left.

Kaiba was riding in his limo while heading towards the mansion and thinking about Mokuba leading his own life, when it snapped to him. He had no heir for Kaiba Corp. All this time, he had only been thinking about the new duel disk and Mokuba's trip to the U.S.

"Change directions. Head towards the orphanage." Kaiba spoke into the speaker and sat back in his chair.

"Yes sir." his chauffeur replied.

* * *

"Good afternoon sir. Welcome to the Domino orphanage. How may I help you?" A woman smiled at him.

"Well, I'm here to adopt a child. Why else would I be here." He looked around for an appropriate kid. He only saw playful, careless preschoolers in there. When he went in to take a better look, he saw a glimpse of a kid in the corner, but the lady that greeted him went in front of him, trying to block that kid from view.

"Do you like any of them?" She asked.

He looked over her and saw the lonely kid, playing duel monsters, with a huge hat on and facing towards the wall.

"I want him." He said, pointing towards the kid.

"Oh, you don't want him. He doesn't have any friends." She first started.

He glared at her.

"And he plays that silly gangster game duel monsters."

He narrowed his eyes.

"He's most likely the kind of kid that would be the heir of a big company and work 24/7 like that jerk boss of mine, Seto Kaiba."

Now he had to resist the urge to punch that woman.

"You know who I am?" He asked, his eye twitching.

"Oh no sir. I'm sorry. I never got to introduce myself. My name is Jade Brinst How are you today?." She held out her hand.

He decided to play along. "My name is Seto Kaiba. How would you like to be fucking fired?" he didn't offer his hand.

Her pupils seemed to shrink. She started to shiver. "I'm terribly sorry Mr. Kaiba. Here, let me get him for you. Please go to the register and I will be there in a moment." Her voice was shaky.

He just walked out and leaned against the register.

She came back after a moment and gave the kid to him. "Mr. Kaiba, please sign here and here and you can go." She gave him a pen from her quivering hand.

He signed it and left. When they walked out, Kaiba turned towards the kid. The lady came out of the orphanage with another woman, standing and watching them leave with a fake smile. "That kid's pure evil."

"What'd you say?" Kaiba glared.

"Hi daddy!" The kid chirped.

"Call me Seto." He snorted.

"Ok daddy!" The kid replied.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "What's your name?" Kaiba started.

"I have no name." The kid replied.

"Come on, your parents must have named you before they put you in the orphanage..." Kaiba said.

"No..Ms. Brinst told me that when I was born, my parents already wanted to put me for adoption so they never named me." He looked at Kaiba innocently with no expression of sadness. It almost made even Kaiba feel sorry for him.

"No kid. That's not going to work. You came so close to making me sad.. Keep working on it.." Kaiba smirked.

_Oh poopy. I came so close.. _The kid thought with an evil glare. Kaiba didn't notice.

"See!" The woman pointed at the kid with an accusing finger. "He's EVIL.." Just as she said that, his eyes turned eyes innocent.

"What are you talking about?" He looked down at the kid, and then the lady.

"Never mind." She said. He walked into the limo with the kid. "I warned you...I'd like to see you get tortured anyways.." She added in a whisper.

"Ok kid. What do you want your name to be?" Kaiba asked.

"Why the fuck should I care? It's only a word to be able to identify me." The kid crossed his arms, fuming about something.

"True, true..Hey, wait a minute. What did you say?" Kaiba asked narrowing his eyes.

"It's only a word to be able to identify me." The kid repeated.

"Before that."

"Why the fuck...should I...care?" The kid said slowly.

"I am going to KILL the person who taught you that word. Who taught you that word?" Kaiba seethed.

"You did. You said... '_How would you like to be fucking fired?'_ and so I took out the _ing_ part to make it sound better." the kid smiled and Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Do you even know what it means?" Kaiba asked.

"No, but by the way that Ms. Brinst shivered, I thought the word is something scary. Ms. Brinst IS the scariest woman I saw, and she looked scared by you. I don't understand why though. You are so nice!" The kid grinned.

Kaiba coughed. "Me...?Nice..?" Don't even think about it."

"Why..? Are you gonna make me study all night and beat me and take away all my duel monster carwds?" He looked at him with brimming tears.

"No. Don't even go there. You study two hours a day, and you pretty much have the rest of the day off. I know, I'm way too nice." Kaiba sighed.

_Nice? I'm no idiot Kaiba. As long as you don't know my true identity for a while, I can work everything out._


	2. umwhat was this chapter really about?

Chapter 2

Yugi and the gang sat in Grandpa's game shop with nothing to do and totally bored. Yugi wasthinking of excuses to go to Kaiba's house to entertain himself, and the only idea that popped up was to go there and cheer Kaiba on!

"You know, Kaiba seemed pretty upset about Mokuba yesterday. You know, like he's leaving and all. Maybe we should go there and cheer him on!" Yugi suggested with a big smile on his face. Tristan and Joey agreed only because they were hungry and Kaiba hired a good chef. Duke wanted to get some gaming ideas from kaiba, so he agreed to tag along.

"YES! LET'S! After all, friendship is the most important thing! GOOOOOOOOOOOO FRIENDSHIP!" Tea stood up and did her friendship cheer, which caused Yugi and the gang to move sloooooowly away.

* * *

At Kaiba's House 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" A weary Kaiba screamed as it echoed in slow motion through his mansion. _Maybe it WAS a mistake to adopt this kid.._ thought Kaiba. He hadn't gotten one bit of anything done since the kid stepped his foot into the house. First, the kid had wanted to eat something. So Kaiba had his chef cook up a nice batch of cookies, but oddly, the kid preffered date with honey, hand mixed.( It's ancient Egyptian food, you'll know why later). To wash it down. the cook gave some milk, but here was the kid'sreply.

" Yo. My head is banging, hook me up with a glass of martini will ya?" And the chef was forced to obey as to he would be fired if he didn't. Kaiba just had to walk into the room when the chef was handing the martini glass to the kid. immediately the chef was out the door and Kaiba was cursing at him for being an idiot and handing the kid a, wait no HIS martini.

"Now I have to hire a new chef" muttered Kaiba. When he turned around, the kid was gone and the glass was empty.

"Damn! He better have spilled that glass of martini and not have done anything else with it!" Kaiba yelled. " I got to stop talking to myself." He ran into the living room trying to find the kid and he saw him on top of the coffee table, holding a hairbrush, using it as a michrophone, while in his diapers and swinging his shirt on top of his head singing _"Hold me tight, if this is how it feels..the feeling of falling in love with someone._

"What the hell? Get down here!"'

The kid was obviously drunk and didn't hear him, so he continued his song.. _"I love youu I can't stop my tears from falling.."_ He started to doing the moon walk when he fell off the table.

"Yipppee! That hurt" the kid exclaimed.

"Stupid kid. Your supposed to say ouch when your hurt." Kaiba scolded.

"okkie. Yipppee! That ouch!"( A/N:We took that part from fairly oddparents so we dont own that phrase or anything.. k? just thought it would fit.)Just at that moment, his huge hat fell off of his head, and slammed into Kaiba's face. After recovering from that hit, he faced the kid once more. He sat there in disbelief. He rubbed his eyes, pinched himself, and almost set himself on fire, because the sight he saw was horrendous. The kid had almost exact same hair as Yugi. His widened eyes made the little kid curious.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that? Do I have something on my faaaaacceee?" **It** asked.

"What has Yugi done?" Kaiba squealed.

"What? What about Yugi?" the kid asked.

"Wait...How do you know who Yugi is..? Kaiba asked.

"Well...he was the world famous duelist right?" he asked. " I heard he was, handsome, tall, strong.--"

"You got it all wrong kid. He's ugly.."

The kid scowled.

"Short! Don't forget that!"

The kid growled.

"And hes wimpy and obsessed with friendship."

The kid almost barked.

"No...So your saying I look exactly like that...and so I'm like that too.?

"I never said anything about you looking like him although he probably is your real father.."

And that was only part of the day...And back to the present where Kaiba was screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

The kid had started deleting his files one by one, while Kaiba was tangled in a mess of wires and if he moved, his total system would shut down. So all he could do was watch and scream. The kid started walking towards Kaiba with a malicious smile. He took his time slowly and and was about to reach Kaiba, when the door swung open and slammed him in the head, making him fall. The kid was now unconcious. Yugi came through the door and tried to find Kaiba ain the dark and heard a low growl from his right.

"Yugi..." Kaiba growled.

"Ahhh there you are Kaiba..What are you doing tangled in the--" He had stepped on the kid and stopped his whatever he was saying and looked down. Yugi's eyes widened.

"...Ya...Yami...?" Yugi stuttered..

"That's me! the one and original!" the kid stated..or should I say Yami (the reincarnation) stated.


	3. that kid

"Oh! You are such a cuute baby! Yes, yes you are. Who the cute baby? You are! You are!" Tea screamed when she laid her eyes on the 'Yami' baby.

_Curse that woman ._Yami thought._ Just leave me alone. Damn you._

"Err…Tea?" Yugi stated.

"Yes?"

"That's not an ordinary baby…" Yugi said.

"Ex-cuuuuuuse moi? Not ordinary, look at that big head of yours. Look who's talkin'" Yami shouted.

"Uh..No offense…but you have the same hair.." Joey scratched his hair and pointed out the obvious.

" UH! No we don't! HOW stupid are you? Look. MY bangs are more pointier and one sticks straight up like an upside-down lightning bolt while Yugi's hair is just..just…too ugly to talk about. No offense ex-partner." Yami said to his previous partner and the mutt.

Kaiba couldn't take it anymore. Either his whole computer system shuts down and him escaping, or the brats are gonna stand there buzzing their words in his ears and him still being trapped. Guess what he chose. Let me give you a clue. There was a blackout the next second.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Someone screamed. The occupants of the room couldn't tell whether it was a male or female who cried out. After a few minutes of silence, the lights turned back on.

"There. Emergency system is on." Kaiba dusted his hands off. Everyone stared at him with their eyes almost popping out.

"What?" He asked.

"Y..Your hair.." Yugi stated.

"What about it? How it's perfection unlike yours Yugi?" Kaiba knew what was coming. In every story he had read,(not ff) they had the same thing. And unfortunately, this one has it too. He felt his hair. He couldn't take it. It had taken him years to perfect his hair style…and now, it stood up, like Yugi's. He turned around and walked to the wall. He leaned against the wall and put his eyes in front of his hands.

"Uh..Kaiba..?" Tea dared to ask." Is there something wrong..?" She took a few steps toward him.

He slowly turned around face barely showing. Before Tea could realize, Kaiba was in front of her, his hands on her throat, with hot tears pouring from his eyes. His face was bright red and he started to choke Tea fervently. Her head bobbed forward and backward, threatening to fall off her head. Someone slightly tugged at the bottom sleeve of his pants. He looked down and stopped choking Tea.

"Hey..uh…Kaiba…I REALLY need to go to the bathroom now. I think I'm going to puke." He covered his mouth.

"NOOOOO! DAMN! NOT ON MY PERFECT OFFICE CARPET!" Kaiba let go of the lifeless Tea and scooped up Yami and started running out of the room.

"Sooooo. What do we do now?" Tristan asked… He, Yugi and Joey stood there in silence for a minute…

"WAIT! THE IDIOTS ARE STILL IN MY OFFICE."

The next minute they were sitting in front of the mansion with an unconscious Tea on their lap.

"Sooooooooooooooooo. what do we do now?" Tristan asked.

"Shut up Tristan." Yugi and Joey said in unison.

"Ya know, something seems odd about Kaiba today. Did he get a new hair do? Or was it the new paint on the mansion? I can't put my finger on it, but darn it! Something's out of place." Tristan said.

"Pal," Joey chipped, "here's a piece of advice. I only say this because I care, and plus, it's bothering me. GET SOME HELP!"

"Tristan, have you not noticed the baby? The hair of the baby? The way the baby acts? Please tell me you've noticed" Yugi said, hoping his friend wasn't 'that' dumb.

But shocker, dreams just don't come true.

"Huh? Yuge, I think something's wrong with ya. There was no baby… but I did see a double of you, somewhat smaller." Tristan said thoughtfully.

"DARN IT TRISTAN!" Yugi lost it, "THAT WAS THE BABY!"

"ooooooooohhhh, so that's why it seemed smaller."

Tea woke up from all the noise. She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"What's going on guys?" Tea asked with her usual annoyance. "why do I feel like I've just been choked?"

"Because you just did." Joey said.

"You know, I wonder who's that kid?" Tea wondered out loud. The others did too.

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Please R&R


	4. kicked out

Before the gang got up and left Kaiba's porch, Kaiba opened his door and slammed Yami in their faces.

"Here Yugi, take yours and Tea's baby, or whatever whore left him in the orphanage. Good Day, and I hope I never have to see you, or your horrible wife, OR your beyond terrifying, indescribable baby again." And with that, he slammed the door shut.

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"Now what?" Yugi asked. The rest of the gang simply stepped away.

"Whoa dude, you're like a dad now. And that makes you like old." Tristan said, sounding stupider than ever.

"Then that makes Tea the mom!" Joey said

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa, wait, WHAT!" Tea screamed.

"KEEP IT DOWN!" the snobby neighbors shouted, " DAMN YOU! TAKE YOUR BABY PROBLEM SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

"Sheesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Maybe, just maybe, I can enlighten their day with the song that shines forever in my heart." said Tea with sparkles on her face, and she began to sing. _I love you... you love me... we're a--- _Before she could finish her song, Kaiba opened the window and started to throw trash, banana peels, and rotten tomatos at them. Soon, the whole neighborhood joined the trash throwing.One hit her square in the face and there was quiet for a second. But was it enough to stop the horrifying friendship-beast? NO! She continued to sing like a malfuntioning machine sitting on top of and under garbage. When she finished the song, the rest of the gang was gone with the wind.

"Guuuuuuyyyyssssss! I just finished with my song, and I think they want an encore!" Tea yelled with her hands up in the air while chasing after the gang.

"Ya think we lost her?" Joey said while huffing loudly.

"I think so...Wait...What's that?" Yugi said pointing at a figure dashing at them, " It's-Its- TEA! Run guys! RUN!"

"GUYS, this is _so_ not funny. What're you guys running from? Come on, I'm out of breath here! Wait up!" Miss Friendship called out. She really doesn't have a clue.

Let's have a look inside her brain: Hm...her left hemisphere, the one that's suppose to be thinking, is looking rather small. Wait...we're detecting something in there, oh no, it seems to be a small box of some kind. Let's have a closer look, OMG! It's-it's-it's...oh, just her friendship music box. Nothing new. We will continue our tour of Tea's brain later(surprisingly, we found one), now back to the story.

"Tea...Please, next time, give us a warnin' b'fore ya sing, k?" asked Joey while rubbing his ears, displeasantly.

"Gee guys, I didn't know you cared!" Tea said sickeningly sweetly. Her voice sounded like an aww-ing. She seems to think that what Joey said was a compliment. All the guys sweat dropped.

"um.. Tea, I don't think that was a compliment." Tristan said, but Tea was already off the her own little friendship La-La Land.

"Hey guys!" Yami squeaked. Finally, the rest of the gang noticed him.

"Hey Yuge! There's that double of you I saw again!" Tristan exclaimed.

"I told you that it was a baby..." Yugi sighed, but immediately put a smile on his face. "Nice to see you again, Yami!" He smiled at the 5000, or 4 year old.

"YAMI! WHERE!" Tea screamed. She started running around and tripped over him. She got back up and started giggling uncontrollably. The others stared at it(I will be calling Tea 'it' k?)and Yami's neck and left eye twitched.

"Geez Tea. Just cause you loved Yami and stuff doesn't mean you have to go crazy.." Joey said.

Tea blinked a couple of times then said"..I'm not gay.." Everyone just stared...

and stared...

and stared...

"HEY! I'm not a girl!" Yami screamed at her.

"I didn't say you were.." Tea said..

there was absolute silence...

The gang backed away from it.

It smiled a big wide smile.

they backed away...

Tea eyed the four boys and set her eyes on Yugi.

"Yugi.." Tea purred.

"Yes.." He slowly said.

"you said Yami was here..." It grinned even wider..

"Yea..."

"I don't see him...Did you lie to me?" Tea sounded like it was asking a five your old.

"no" He said with a pouting tone.

"Are we friends..?" Tea asked.

"...UH..."

She took it as a yes and continued

"Friends don't lie to each other Yugi."

She walked closer to him and he walked backward, choking on tears.

The other three watched in utter horror as Tea circled around Yugi still smiling.

_Like a shark circling around a small guppy._

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_Meanwhile_

Kaiba drove his car to the adoption center again..he needed to get another kid...well he didn't need to...but he had NEEDED to immediately get his house clean from what Yami had done, and the foul smell Tea had left behind so he couldn't be in his house. He wanted to go to Kaiba corp. but it was closed due to labor day. He would've normally not allowed his employees to have the day off, but someone had gotten the whole building to agree to the idea of 'having the day off or quiting,' so he had ordered the building closed for the day...and Yami had eaten his key..so he had to wait until Mokuba had arrived in America to get his key.

_On labor day aren't they supposed to be doing labor? _Kaiba thought rolling his eyes in an annoying way.

So to put it simply, Seto Kaiba had nothing else to do.

He walked in to the building and saw the same woman from before. She was surprised and sad to see him again. Another woman walked by her and whispered

"I told you he'd be back before the end of the week. Pay up." She handed her some cash and walked up to Kaiba. She made no attempt to smile.

"Something wrong Mr.Kaiba?" She asked.

"Yea..I want another kid."

"Something wrong with the other kid?"

_Yea. I found out he's related to my arch-foe_

"Uh..Yea..."

"What's the problem?"

"Well...He drank my martini, fell off of the coffee table and nearly broke it, slammed into the door and got blood all over it and nearly puked on my perfect office carpet!" Kaiba said, not realizing how it sounded to the woman.. "Oh wait, there's more"

The woman's eyes grew bigger and bigger as he continued with his list. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and slapped him _**HARD**_ across the face.

"You jerk! Even THAT kid doesn't deserve that!" She spat at him. "I will not allow you to touch any other kid!And i will make sure to get you in court! You demon.."

"Wait--but--huh--WHAT! HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?" He screamed.

She ignored his remark. "I will be picking him up in an hour. And you better not have done anything to him, or else.." She narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"Well, too bad..You won't find him.." Kaiba snorted.

"Huh?" she looked confused.

"I kicked him out of the house.." Kaiba rubbed his cheek from the slap and looked annoyed.

Her eyes went wide again and

SLAP!

Another one across the other cheek.

"You know what lady! You have no idea what's going, or how the kid acts, so butt out, and...and...and..." Kaiba tried to think of another thing to say.

"And? what?" the Lady looked confused, and was laughing inside.

"Oh right, you're fired!" With that, Kaiba left the building.

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Well that's the fourth chapter guys! PLEASE review so that we know people are reading...or this story is history...if your a Tea lover, then DO NOT READ THIS STORY...or you'll hate it... AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS PPL! WE LUV YOU!


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